http://ihaveacanon.tumblr.com/

Goodbye, ihaveacanon.com.

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 08:30:16 -0500

Summer began and school was over. It really hit me hard when I chose the wrong professor to teach me the wrong things about the wrong side of taking pictures. I let it get the best of me, and stopped doing what I loved. Picking up my camera was no longer fun, and felt more as if it were a chore if anything else.

A few months into my Summer and I am feeling a bit empty without my photos. I had a tiny wake-up call and decided to start new. I bought a new film camera and did tons of research on my own. I found my love for photographs again but for right now: it’s not digital.

I will begin shooting and update you all in a matter of weeks of my progress. I am planning to start a new website and focusing on both my writing and film. Goodbye for now. But, not for long.

Lately.

Tue, 23 Mar 2010 17:19:45 -0500

Lately.

Photo

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:50:27 -0500

I’m sick of sitting around for bad news, being unaware,...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 20:17:32 -0600

I’m sick of sitting around for bad news, being unaware, and letting everything slide.

I have never felt so restless.

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:16:26 -0600

I have never felt so restless.

Chanel does not understand why she has to be clean.

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 10:58:57 -0600

Chanel does not understand why she has to be clean.

We are growing tired of growing.

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 11:58:19 -0600

We are growing tired of growing.

Stop snowing.

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 10:40:00 -0600

Stop snowing.

This vehicle is full of political promises.

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:16:05 -0600

This vehicle is full of political promises.

My first fast food burger. It was delicious because I was...

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 16:07:00 -0600

My first fast food burger. It was delicious because I was hungry. Oh well.

I’m being torn by things that shouldn’t matter, and...

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 16:41:00 -0600

I’m being torn by things that shouldn’t matter, and I can’t help but make them seem bigger than they actually are.

We stopped living.

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:54:00 -0600

From small children, we are taught to give everything a heart beat. Everything is living and we all have potential of getting hurt, losing our step, and being nothing special when it came to death. You don’t realize that you are taught these things, but they are the steam coming off of your lips in a chilly morning. You don’t notice, but they’re so obvious.

Your favorite toy had a name, an opinion, and a personality. It taught you how to not be scared of the dark and to stand up for yourself when someone choose to tell you otherwise. You have the safety blanket that hid you from all the nightmares, monsters, and scary strangers.

When you fell, you fell hard. Bruises and bumps tormented your mother but never made you second guess doing it all over again. Jump off that porch, climb that tree, and bounce all over the room. You had every fear while having no fears at all. Life was simplified to bed time stories, pull-ups and trying to tie your shoe laces.

You still learned about death from hamsters, goldfish, and rabbits. You knew friendship by whoever sat next to you and stayed there during lunch time. You knew heartbreak when the girl you liked didn’t give you a valentine’s day card, or when your invisible friend stops coming over.

It’s the adults that mess everything up. We start expecting, and demanding things out of ourselves and others. We make things complex and complicated. We stop looking at things as a whole and start taking things for granted. We stopped living.

"I could tell you all lies to make you want me. But, then it wouldn’t be me you would be..."

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:54:00 -0600

“I could tell you all lies to make you want me. But, then it wouldn’t be me you would be wanting. It would be a figment of both our imaginations.”

- Myself to myself.

Photo

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 21:13:00 -0600

We walked to the holocaust memorial after fifty failed parking...

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:58:00 -0600

We walked to the holocaust memorial after fifty failed parking spaces and lack of ideas. Visiting death memorials are a never good idea when you’re just trying to have something to do. They leave you sad, and more scared to live life for fear you’ll fail to the ones who never got to live. But, maybe that’s just me.

Photo

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:38:49 -0600

As months go on, I always feel things starting to fade. Things...

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 07:50:44 -0600

As months go on, I always feel things starting to fade. Things like Summer crushes, or January snowfalls. The rush of vacation and waking up knowing you have nothing to look forward to is going away. I’ll be important again, soon enough. But, how bad do I want to feel wanted again?

I don’t know.

Honesty. You will find no gimmicks. There will be no questions...

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 18:24:00 -0600

Honesty. You will find no gimmicks. There will be no questions as to why I’m angry or why I want you to listen. There are no false advertisements with the things I’ll tell you and the stories I’ll speak. I’ll even try to tell you that you’re beautiful, genius, and amazing every once in a while.

I just ask you to be honest.

Shellfish.

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 11:31:00 -0600

I’ve never been one to please others. (That’s a lie.) I’ve always just seen the world through my eyes; too busy to pay attention to anyone else. Because, who really wants to stick on someone else’s stinky shoes and walk a mile? I have better things to do.

If you’ve ever made someone cry, you know how it feels to be in control. That’s what defines your life right there. If you continue to let them cry, and bask in your own power. Or, do you stop what you’re doing to try and save someone else’s dignity? I’ve always seen myself as a selfish person with a one-track mind. It was nothing personal but I saw that being kind was a weakness. I was scared to let anyone else have even a chance of controlling me.

But, the day I made someone cry: I froze. The pain in their eyes… it was no longer about me anymore. I was no longer a child. I wasn’t going to be the same girl who saw no one but herself; as if life was a mirror and I didn’t take my eyes off of myself. I decided to be the one save someone else, instead of making it about myself.

So, what kind of person are you?

Your parents want you to think that there is always going to...

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 18:40:00 -0600

Your parents want you to think that there is always going to someone who has it worse than you. A starving child, a more broken heart, and an uglier face. They never give you the benefit of the doubt that just maybe, maybe, you aren’t ever going to change in what you believe in. There will even be people who have it ten times better.

There is everything wrong with being mediocre. If you can’t be your best, then be the worst. At least you stood up for something.